Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Topless In The Laundry Room

Lets play a little game shall we? I will call it, Have You Ever?

Have you ever thought it was a good idea to eat your child's lollipop because she was screaming bloody murder while taking a nice brisk walk through the quite neighborhood and thought that that was the perfect time for her to throw the worst tantrum she has had in months? So you ate her lollipop, not to teach her a lesson but because you were so mad at her?

Have you ever been thrown unexpectedly into some "make believe" wrestling move, because during quite the "intimate" moment with your spouse you look up and see two little eyes peering into your door way...only to hear your spouse claim very loudly..."Mommy and Daddy are just wrestling sweetie", and you say "I think you broke something."under your breath?

Have you ever left a shirt in your dryer and thought you could just quickly dash out to the dryer topless, and finish dressing out there...only to realize your shirt and bra are in fact in the house. And to make things better, someone is knocking on your back door and you are stuck in the laundry room? So quickly you decide to slip on the first shirt you see (which is the hubby's) and you answer the back door dripping wet hair in a shirt that states :"Top 10 dumbest ways to get arrested"?

Have you ever cried because you couldn't find your fat jeans anywhere in the house? So you decided the next best thing is to wear your fat (old lady) underwear. Then you spend the entire time outandabout..."fixing" that never ending wedgie hoping nobody can see you?

Have you ever nursed your baby while grocery shopping with four other Doodlebugs, only to "switch" sides to which your oldest doodlebug girls announces your boob is showing. Yeah seeing as you forgot to pull the other side of your shirt down when making the "switch".

Have you ever worked for well over an hour to get "loaded" into the car. Just when you get in the car you remember you left your sunglasses, then when you are one step down off the porch you realize you left your ATM card (turn around), then you get buckled and WHAT! Where are your keys? Man. So have you ever finally gotten on your way, made it through check out and then it happens...it's like your baby decided to eliminate all it had eaten in the last 14 days while in line at Wal-Mart...then while in the bathroom and all the kids playing in the water that comes on by itself, do you then realize...of all the things you remembered to go back and get...WIPES WERE NOT ONE OF THEM!

Have you ever left one or two Doodelbugs on another isle while you just shopped away!

Have you ever considered a a grocery shopping trip a sucess when only four eggs, one yogurt, and one jar or dill relish get s dropped and broken?

ANDLASTBUTNOTLEAST....Have you EVER left small (could be hazardous) items on the floor for your baby to get a hold to?



No? Really you haven't? Well, me either...WHEW! That's really good to know.

5 comments:

prechrswife said...

That is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! :-)

LaLa said...

i see that battery in front of you.... oh no no no no no nooooo....
i loved it.
i can't believe he's about to crawl :(
and i can't believe you let your boob hang out in the grocery store. .nice.
love u

He And Me + 3 said...

I have done maybe a few of those things...maybe...too funny.

Kim said...

Did you really leave your boob out in the store?

momstheword said...

Hahahaha! Nope...never done it. I also didn't run nekked from the bathroom to another room to get something (noone was home) and then looked up and realized the blinds were open.