Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It Was My Miracle For the Taking. I Took IT!

My Miracle Story
Four years ago this past weekend I was moving into an apartment as a divorced single mother of four children who were all 5 and under. Oddly enough this wasn’t the lowest point in my life. The lowest point in my life came September 17th of 2005 when I left my 2000 sq ft. house with three children and 3 months pregnant with my fourth. My husband Joel and I were "taking a break" so I thought, however our little break to "figure things out" lead to a devastating divorce which was declared final on December 21, 2005 by the state of Georgia. I remember thinking I never knew you could get divorced so fast.

To make things really short and too the point, I was devastated over the separation much less the divorce. I mostly battled with extreme embarrassment over being a divorcee. I felt the title to be humiliating. {Matthew 1:18-19> Now this is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But while she as still a virgin she became pregnant by the Holy Sprit. Joseph, her fiancĂ©’, being just a man, decided to break the engagement quietly, so as not to disgrace her publicly. As he considered this, he fell asleep, and an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. "Joseph, son of David", the angel said." do not be afraid to go ahead with your marriage to Mary. For the child within her has been conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus for he will save his people from their sins. All of this happened to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet:}(God was NOT worried about Mary being humiliated, He was in control from the get-go) There were days I just couldn’t get a grip on why I was in Albany, at 28 years old, living with my parents and about to have a baby and lets not forget my three little girls! I was a broken hearted little girl with big people problems. I was stressed, worried, angry, bitter, confused, I was searching, longing, hopeful and hopeless all at the same time. I was forgetful, unhealthy sickly, sad. I was desperate but most of all I was stubborn. {Joshua 14:8-9> For my part, I followed the Lord my God completely. So that the day Mosses promised me, ‘The land of Canon on which you were just walking will be your special possession and that of your descendants forever, because YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY followed the Lord my God’.}

I was born strong willed on December 12, 1976; I hope I stay that way until the day I die. I spent hours upon hours praying for my marriage to be restored. When I say hours upon hours I literally mean some nights I would pull an all night-er…on my knees 9 months pregnant or standing on my bible in my room my precious new baby boy asleep and just pray. Pray, Pray, Pray. {Luke 18 Story of Persistent Widow- One day Jesus told his disciples a story to illustrate their need for constant prayer and to show them that they must never give up. "There was a judge in a certain city," her said, "who was a godless man with great contempt for everyone. A widow in that city came to him repeatedly, appealing for justice against someone who had harmed her. The judge ignored her for a while, but eventually SHE WORE HIM OUT.’I fear neither God nor man, ‘he said to himself, but this women is DRVING ME CRAZY. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant request!’" Then the Lord said, "Learn a lesson from this evil judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end, so don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who plead with Him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when I, the Son of Man, return, how many will I find who have faith?"} (I was the persistent widow, bugging, pleading praying, wearing out my welcome)

Some nights I would pray for me, for the children, for Joel most times my tears did the praying my sobbing would be my voice. I often thought that if the rocks could cry out, the trees clap their hands and the mountains could bow down, then God would hear my voice through my tears. I prayed in tongues quite often, hoping the Holy Spirit would understand what I couldn’t seem to put into English.{ Isaiah 55:12-13>You will live in joy and peace, The mountains and the hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This MIRACLE will bring great honor to the Lord’s name; it will be an everlasting sign of His power and love.}

I always had a sense of being taken care of, every one of my needs was met the very moment it was needed. The childrens and mine. Whether by God’s peace, or the people around me that gave and gave and gave. People sowed into my life that may never even realize what their actions did. I am going to take a sidebar and name a few things that happened to the children and me.
-Went to mail box, card and $100
-Couple gave me $300 dollars
-Same couple (lady), just about furnished my apartment. (bedding, paint, new rug)
-Couple gave me washer and dryer
-Couple gave me microwave and coffee maker
-People came five days in a row and painted my apartment
-People took my children and loved up on them
-I had the greatest baby shower out of all my children’s showers
-I had a $1000 dollar check written to me because this lady was in the shower and was listening to the Holy Spirit when he just happened to whisper to her.
I could go on and on. The giving that these people showed me was and still is unbelievable. Some people did things for the children and I just out of love for my parents! Talk about getting in on a good deal ! What a privilege to be so loved by people just because I am Morris and Sarah’s daughter. This defines covenant relationships.

There was a turning point, it happened in the driveway of my parents’ house. I knew I was divorced, but was beyond accepting it. I was sitting on the bumper of my car having one of my many meltdowns. I don’t remember what the melt down was about. At this time I was on a waiting list for GRAFA, on every imaginable assistance program available, in college and just struggling day to day to keep it together. My dad came out and just as I had looked at my own children over the last year with sorrow for their hurt, knowing they wanted to scream and shout and didn’t know how to tell me how they were feeling, he looked at me that way. I knew then the saying that we all say to our own children "If I could take it would" his eyes welled with tears and he said, "Aimee, you are a divorced women, I can’t change it, you can’t change it, it’s just what it is. I am so sorry." He loved me the same married or divorced, I was not a disappointment to him. In that moment I felt I could breath for the first time in over a year.

I still absolutely without a doubt didn’t accept my divorce as final (in the heavenlies). I never for a moment ever heard anything from the Lord allowing me to walk away, I did however changed the way I was playing the hand that was dealt to me. I played it or prayed it as divorced women. I moved out in November of last year like I said earlier, in fact this very weekend, within 3 weeks of moving into my own place, my miracle began. Joel and my turning point came in November however there is a certain date that comes to mind…December 12 my 30 birthday, Joel after working a 20 hour shift was standing in the cold at 7:15 a.m. in the morning waiting for me to open the door to take our oldest to school. He was there for me…. for my birthday. (This showed me Joel’s actions, because our trust with each other had been broken so badly.)
(PLACE OUT TEA CUP SAUCER-2nd piece of china)

Through much counseling, prayer, counseling, prayer we began our journey to reconciliation. So pretty much just a suddenly as the ending had stared so the beginning began. It came out of left field, it came when I least expected it, it came only when, I listened to my Father and obeyed. My heavenly father and earthly father. (Under different covering reversed the cleaving process) The day my father was so brutally blunt with me was the day I couldn’t live as a married women any longer, I had to come under a different type of authority.

I find it a privilege to say that I have lived to see something raised from the dead. I have seen God take something dead and breath life into it, make it whole and new again. I don’t know how He did it…how He made something out of nothing. He is the Master Craftsman that’s for sure.
What I have given you today is a piece of my wedding china; it was broken along with three other place settings on the brick steps out back behind my house. My daughter recently found some pieces still laying in the dirt out back. She came in and said remember Mommy when you broke this? (This was not a shining moment for me) I was hoping she wouldn’t remember the last year and a half. Not really knowing what to do I explained that I did remember, and I was again sorry that she saw me do this awful thing, then I took her to the china cabinet and said…that little piece is what happened to our family…but look what God did, and I pointed to a full place setting of my wedding china. So this began my writing this testimony.

No matter how small the piece God has to work with. He can do it! I always was waiting for the miracle; I knew it belong to me. It was mine for the taking. I took it. Joel and I remarried in February, I moved back home in May. Are things perfect? Not by a long shot. It’s tough; it’s work, a lot of work. I believe this miracle of mine is still in the making and evolving in God’s Kingdom everyday.

I am quite aware of Satan and his work to kill, steal and destroy more than ever, especially when it comes to my family. Within three weeks of the children and I moving home, we had a small tornado come through our town and a branch impaled our roof, our daughter McKenna had a very, very rocky start to the first grade and her teachers suggested she go back to Kindergarten, then I hurt my back, Joel was under attack from a citizen in Climax, our only family car broke down for three weeks, and our air conditioner bit the dust. However….because God was ever faithful and EVER true he also saw fit to bless Joel and I with an un-expected pregnancy. Our 5th child Grant was born on October 9th 2008. We struggle a lot, but we believe that if God brought us through what we went through, He will bring us through these struggles. I am proud to be a daughter of God’s Kingdom, but what makes me ecstatic is that my family is a family of the kingdom of God. My cup truly runneth over.
{Psalm 23- read entire Psalm}
(Pour water into teacup and let it over flow…symbolizing my blessings)